


until the very end, and beyond

by leftemrys



Category: Merlin (TV)
Genre: Angst, Best Friends to Lovers, Death, F/F, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, Morgana is dying, arthur is dying in the background but we don't talk about it, but the fluff is in the past, gwen is so precious and beautiful id die for her, im sorry, morgwen rights, nothing graphic ofc, there's happy memories tho, yeah this is really sad sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-02
Updated: 2020-08-02
Packaged: 2021-03-05 22:20:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,003
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25672693
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/leftemrys/pseuds/leftemrys
Summary: Morgana’s life ended in a dark forest, with a bloodied blade and two broken friendships. It ended without resolution, without comfort or peace.She saw lots of things as she died. But most of all, she saw Gwen.
Relationships: Gwen/Morgana (Merlin)
Comments: 12
Kudos: 20





	until the very end, and beyond

**Author's Note:**

> Content warning for major character death!! that's literally all this fic is. It's not a graphic death, no blood or anything. Implied sexual content but it's literally just implied i don't wanna write that
> 
> this is my first ever fic!! i hope you like it, kudos and comments are much appreciated <3

Morgana’s life ended in a dark forest, with a bloodied blade and two broken friendships. It ended without resolution, without comfort or peace. 

This was never what she wanted.

As her vision clouded over and her body crumpled to the ground, Morgana felt very little. She’d been so far gone for so long now, nothing felt real; if this truly was the end, it hurt less than she’d expected. All that fear, and death’s sting was so underwhelming.

Above her, she saw the blurred figures of the two men who’d driven her peace from her; her brother and her bane, the king and his sorcerer. The world had a cruel way of bringing your worst fears full circle at the end; death delivered from the hands of both the family who had hunted her kind for generations, and the warlock who had haunted her nightmares from the moment she learned his true name.

Morgana knew she hated them. She knew that, because it was a mantra which she recited every day. But death brought a new clarity, and she was able to look past mask of hatred to see the the fear and pain concealed deep beneath. Morgana's heart held no forgiveness for them, but her rage had seeped away into the cold earth beneath her.

The world was fading, slipping away gracefully. Its hold on Morgana’s soul had been weakened for some time, this moment long orchestrated by the fates that pulled destiny’s puppet strings. As she lay motionless, staring up at the dark trees that blocked out the sky's greyish light, Morgana found her mind turning away from the present and casting its view to the years that came before all the pain.

She saw Arthur, young and full of hope. Merlin, friendly and trusting. She saw a distant memory of her father, long passed, giving a final goodbye before leaving never to return. But most of all, Morgana saw Gwen.

She saw longing gazes and king words, a love long unspoken as they grew older side by side. She saw teary eyes and midnight confessions, a love finally spoken aloud in hushed tones and shy touches.

She saw soft mornings, sunrise’s light bathing the room in a rich glow. Gwen, resting peacefully next to her, skin softer than the blankets she lay under and smiles softer still. She saw gentle morning kisses, sleepy and sweet before life renewed its constant rush. And she saw dark nights, rain pouring and nightmares tearing at her mind’s seams. A voice calling out to her, a warm embrace and a warmer kiss. She felt the relief that calm her heart at Gwen’s whispered reassurances that she’s here, it’s okay, she won’t let anything hurt Morgana. 

Morgana just wished that final promise could’ve protected her from herself.

She saw gentle hands, brushing through her hear and wiping away her tears. Hands wrapped around hers as they whispered vows in the dead of night, vows of secrecy and devotion and love; ‘until the very end’, ‘and beyond’. The hands of the blacksmith’s daughter, wielding a sword of her own craft, fighting alongside Morgana. The days when they stood together, trusting and loyal, rather than dancing around each other on opposing forces of a war built on mistrust and betrayal. 

Oh, how Morgana wished those hands were here to hold her now, to stroke her cheek as she fell away from the world.

She saw dark eyes, full lips, the curves of collarbone and waist, illuminated by candlelight. She saw gentle caresses juxtaposed with desperate kisses, a fear that all they had built could be torn away if discovered; a tightrope pulled taught then snapped in two, falling away beneath them. Secret rushes of euphoria, highs upon highs, the two of them against the world; Morgana realised now that no matter the strength of their passion, the world had been stronger in its mission to tear them down.

She saw the two of them, watching the sunset from a hill outside the citadel, pinks and crimsons and violets lighting up the sky. Gwen’s eyes, liquid gold in the evening light, transfixed on the sun as it slowly sank beneath the horizon. Morgana remembers not watching much of the sunset, unable to tear her eyes away from the woman beside her. The sun, she knew, would set every day for all eternity, but the world could never again create anything as beautiful as Gwen.

But, stronger than any beauty, Morgana saw unending compassion, overwhelming kindness, unfailing grace. She saw passion that burned brighter with each passing day, loyalty unwavering, even in the face of a world determined to bring pain. She saw everything she loved about Gwen; her wit, her honesty, her awkward flirting and her open heart. The way she would bring Morgana flowers after a difficult night, the way she would never back down from a fight, the way she would excitedly bring updates on the newest gossip from the kitchen staff. Most of all, Morgana saw Gwen’s love for her. The casual ‘I love you’s, the sweet smiles reserved for their most intimate moments, the secret language they spoke in when alone together in the dead of night. Gwen’s love was unconditional, and entirely unique from any Morgana had been given before; it was forgiving and supportive, personal and safe and real.  
‘Until the very end’, Morgana would whisper. Gwen’s response, given so many times it would fall from her lips automatically, ‘and beyond’.

It seemed that now, after all this time, the 'beyond' had arrived. 

Morgana’s final thought was a prayer that Gwen would know she had always been right, that the beyond had come and Morgana’s love had remained unchanged.  
As the icy darkness claimed her, Morgana clung to those final sweet thoughts of the woman she had loved for so long, the woman who had loved her so fiercely in return.

Many miles away, sat alone on the throne of a cold and empty castle, Gwen felt her heart break in two.

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by the hozier lyrics:  
> when my time comes around  
> lay me gently in the cold dark earth  
> no grave can hold my body down  
> i'll crawl home to her.


End file.
